Back to Greenbelt

I have been thinking about my lion dancing, how I am approaching it and what intent I have. I want to get better and I usually have fun doing it, but I also noticed somewhere along the way I started just going through the motions during our practice time in the blackbelt class, or even feeling apprehensive or anxious when I would hear sifu Brinker say "pair up" at the start of class. 

Thinking about it and trying to analyze my thoughts in preparation for this blog I realized that I was training like I was a greenbelt again. To be clear I have seen many greenbelts with drive and intent in their training, but I was certainly not one of them. I remember showing up to class and listening to the instructors, but consistent improvement and ah-ha moments were few and far between. Most of the time I was only maintaining what is was that got me this far, I didn't understand how important it is to push yourself in every single technique you do. Most of the time I was ok with being "fine" with something, not trying to do things higher, faster, more accurately, better. I was uninvolved instead of actively trying to adjust or listen to what was happening internally. 

I also remember waves of uneasiness washing over me when the class was focused on sparring, or throws, or anything else that would only work if it was done fast. Things that are tough to break down because momentum does not exist in slow motion, and anything that cannot be broken down, instead existing in that realm of "just do it" are things that are usually out of my comfort zone, hence the unpleasant feelings.

But now that I recognize those feelings and how I was training I can start to try to approach it with more intention and attention again. These thoughts were amplified 100x when Sifu Brinker explained why we need to improve, and how we represent our school. 

Usually when we introduce lion dancing we hear the phrase "a school is judged by the quality of their lion dance" and I need to keep that in front of me moving forward. That I am not just trying to improve for myself, I am trying to improve so that I can represent the school in a way that I can be proud of.