Changes

I’m not sure how to start this… 

I am so out of practice in my blogging, and everything that I want to start off with is either negative, or an excuse. But I want to use the changing of the Year of the Horse as a clean slate, a way to leave behind the guilt from last year, from the last seven months, from yesterday, from 5 minutes ago.

In the absence of my blogs last year

No.

The past is trying to slip out again, and I said I wanted to use this as a clean slate. I need to shift my focus from who I was, to who I am, and who I am trying to become during this upcoming year.

I am very excited to be on the very first Kao Shi team, I am also daunted by the weight this holds. I know that I want to really strive to push myself this year and that brings the same feelings of anticipation and fear. Those two feelings are so similar, a quickening heart rate, shorter breaths, that buzzing feeling at the base of my rib cage, vibrations in my bones, but they stem from different perspectives. My excitement tells me of all the progress that could be made, of all the skill and knowledge to be gained, it tells me of the opportunities. My fear tells me of how hard it will be, it asks me if I think I will be enough, it tells me of the challenges. 

One comes from a place of Mastery, thinking about the journey, the potential, about how much further I can reach. The other comes from a place of Ego, thinking about myself and weighting who I think I am against who I need to become. I know which one I want to listen to. So I am excited for all the opportunities and the challenges that this new year will bring and how they will change me. 

Current Total

Push-ups

409

Sit-Ups

155

Hand Form

0

Weapon Form

0

Blogs

1

Sparring

0

AOK

10

Km

16

Comments

  1. KhonaFebruary 19, 2026 at 6:48 AM

    Love the blog, dislike the time of night you posted (sleep, girl!). Stay vocal this year, both by blogging and by advocating for what you need.

    ReplyDelete

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