Failure

This morning I was doing my first set of pushups for the day. When I was done I entered them into my tracking spreadsheet and updated the values for today’s date, and my heart sank.

I missed a week.

My blogging streak was over, and I have failed.

I’m not sure what to do.

I don’t want to take this lightly, this is a test, the requirements are clearly laid out for us, this is a black and white answer, either I do it or I don't, and I didn’t. 

I don’t know what to do.

There are two trains of thought running through my mind, in some places the tracks cross over each other.

1) I have failed, it is over, there is no recovering, no amount of clever words in this blog will change the objective truth that I have failed the blogging requirement.

2) Failure is part of the journey, I knew I would fall off the wagon, now I need to minimize the amount of time I spend laying face-down in the mud. I can’t let this set back discourage me from continuing to work towards my blogging goal for the rest of the year.

I don’t know what to do.

To think only about number one engages my ego, I am wallowing in self-pity, and it is counter-productive to what I want to achieve in the future I failed, it’s over, what’s the point? To think only about number two discards the truth and diminishes the threat of future failures oh well at least I’m still trying, failure is inevitable so it’s not that big a deal when it eventually happens right? 

If I’m being honest with myself I already failed long ago. March 10th was the first day I went longer than 7 days without publishing a blog, and I have kept trying, holding onto the hope that if I at least kept on track doing it within every calendar week, maybe somewhere along the way my consistency would improve, and I could get back to blogging in at least within a 7 day stretch. 

If I write one blog every 7 days, thats the bare minimum, if I write one blog within every calendar week, giving myself the potential of 13 days without blogging in between, that is the barest bare minimum, and I couldn’t even do that, 

that’s why this feels so crushing. 

I understand the value in the blogging requirement, I understand how important it is to track training in the past, to give me an understanding of where I presently am, and to give me direction for my future trajectory. I know I solidify my understanding and generate new questions and insights when I break things down and write them out in a blog. I knew based on previous years, that I would need to prioritize my blogging if I wanted to succeed this year. On every level I understand why this requirement is so vital, which is why I am so frustrated with myself when I continually put it lower down on my priority list.

I don’t know what to do.


other than to keep moving forward and continue to try to find my way to the path of Mastery.

Current Total

Push-ups

9098

Sit-Ups

7294

AOK

245

Km

662

Blogs

11

Sparring

16

Hand Form

127

Weapon Form

158

Repair Relationship

0

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