Break-a-thon: Bruised Pinkies and Realizations

Tonight was the break-a-thon for us and I have so many thoughts and feelings swirling around inside me so I'm writing this blog as a way to get some of them out, and because I think these thoughts could be important to look back on. 

I am currently typing this with bruised knuckles and swollen pinkies alternating the ice-pack as I gather my thoughts. 

nervous.

I felt very nervous going into the break-a-thon. Between trying to organize the lion building project, getting year of the dragon stuff prepared, and a few crazy busy weeks at work, amidst everything I let the break-a-thon slide under the radar. For some reason I thought we might not be doing breaks in the blackbelt class, so it wasn't until a couple hours before class started that I tried to piece together some combinations and techniques I wanted to use. This paired with what I noticed while I was running the warm up for the level II's the other night did not bode well for my mental state going into tonight; I had realized I had let my side heel fall off the wagon quite some time ago. I thought about the last time I worked to improve my kicks, I thought about the last time I even did kicks outside of a form, I thought about the last time I worked on any of my foundational techniques, and I realized I have allowed so many things to become tarnished. And I didn't realize it until now because although I'm attending lots of classes, the majority of them I am attending as an instructor or an assistant, but not as a student. I am working on developing my eye-for detail as a teacher, but not working on building my skill as a martial artist. 

Anyways, this whole tangent to say that the board breaks tonight did what they do best: show me what parts of my technique need work, I know exactly what needs to be fixed in my front thrust, I know which techniques I was scared to use tonight, meaning I need to build my confidence in them by practicing them more, as well as having the whole wake up call that I need to put more energy into being a student. 

(also a huge thanks to everyone who stuck around until that board finally did break and cheered me on, and held my boards, and an especially huge thank you to Sifu Rybak who did not let me leave until that board was broken)

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